Thursday, April 24, 2008

Hittin' the Road

As I type, California Mom is on a train making her way down to Florida for a visit and most importantly for a road trip with me! ;) (Incidentally I think "road trip" is about the sexist grouping of words ever. Followed closely by "free beer") But I digress.

This trip is partially a visit and partially a chance to make some final touches on her book. Once she has spent a week on the coast writing and editing furiously, she and I are hittin' the road up to North Carolina where she and California Dad own some property. On the way back down, we will hit Charleston and Savannah for a couple of ghost tours and carriage rides.

I will continue blogging as we flit about up and down the eastern seaboard. I'll make sure to keep everyone posted on our adventures and my plan to flirt my ass off with random boys. Okay, it will be more like me flirting my "place where my ass would be if I had one" off. But you get the gist.

Also, next week we will have another guest blogger! Our very own frequent commenter, Trish Ryan of Trish's Dishes has agreed to guest blog to celebrate the release of her book "He Loves Me He Loves Me Not", on April 30th.

So, my cyberpeeps, stay tuned It's going to be a fun couple of weeks!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Need vs Want...The Never Ending Dilemma

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about drama and why some men tend to find it so appealing when a woman has a ton of drama going on in her life. Most of us know someone that has either been dumped for someone with a lot of drama or has attracted a guy when they had a lot of drama going on. I know I've lived through both. I joked to Colorado Beth once that when I don't have a lot of crap going on in my life I can't pay a man to ask me out, but let me have a little drama crop up and I can't beat the boys off with a stick. For the life of me, I can't seem to figure out why this seems to be true, but here are some of my suppositions.

Could it be that some men just love crazy chicks? I suppose that could be true, but somehow I don't really think that is the case. Most relationships that start with a lot of drama tend to end at some point. I call these "wound licking" relationships. Whenever a couple comes together because one or the other is in pain or has a lot of excitement going on, the relationship tends to end once the drama is no longer the concern.

You can’t really blame it on the guys either. We women are just as bad about pursuing the bad boy or the wounded guy. We want to fix him up and make him better. Is that just what men who are attracted to drama prone women want to? Are they just looking for a fixer upper? Are they just looking to be needed? Is that what we are all looking for…to be needed? It certainly is an interesting question.

When we (men or women) see someone who is wounded or is going through some type of crisis; is it the goodness in us all that makes us want to help? I believe it’s not only the goodness in us that causes this reaction, but also the part of us that wants to be needed, appreciated and accepted by other people. However, if this is the case, at some point, rather than just being needed, we all NEED to be WANTED as well. Being needed implies that there is some sort of obligation on the part of one of the parties to stay in a situation or relationship. Being wanted implies the freedom to leave at will but the choice not to do so. I believe this is where more mature relationship comes into play.

I believe that when we move away from those relationships built on obligation and need and towards those that are built on choice; we have entirely new experiences with relationships. This is when the real work begins. We begin to relate to one another on much deeper and more intimate levels. If all we are ever doing is cleaning up the mess from one crisis after another, we can’t very well get to the deeper levels of relating, there isn’t time and energy to do so. And maybe this is why those more superficial type relationships are really so popular. The unconscious thought being if you need me then you will stay because you have to and I am less likely to feel the hurt of your absence.. However, if you only want me, you could up and leave at anytime because you choose to and I will be alone, which would be painful. Likewise, if the crisis and the drama ends and we do move to deeper levels of relating and intimacy, what if you no longer like what you see?

In my opinion, taking the chance on something deeper is always worth the risk. Yeah, you might not like the skeletons in my closet, but you have your own and if we can be intimate about those things without judging one another, that’s when wounds really get healed. Otherwise, it’s just putting a band aid on a gaping wound.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

And He's Back.....

Bookstore guy came back around this week. The last time I spoke with him I told him that I was not interested in going to lunch with him. He still continued to call occasionally and not leave a message, but I figured eventually he would just go away.

This week he stepped it up a notch by not only calling my direct phone line, but also calling the mainline at my office to have the call put through to me. When that didn't work, he told the administrative assistant that he'd been calling and I was not answering and he really needed to speak to me. She thought he was a customer and put him through. He just wanted to ask me out again. I told him no and not to call anymore, however two days later he called again. This time the administrative assistant recognized his voice and told him I was in a meeting and offered to take a message. He wouldn't give his name or number and avoided her questions by asking if she knew my schedule and when I would be free. She wouldn't tell him and he eventually hung up.

Needless to say, I am a bit wigged out. It just screams "potential stalker" to me. There's just something off about this guy. I think what bothers me most is that it's not just that he's calling me. It's now started to disrupt my work environment. Other people are having to deal with him and that just creates unwanted and unneeded drama in my opinion.

Anyway, I think that this proves that my spidey sense was dead on and there's just something not right. I'm glad I listened to my Little Voice and decided against having lunch with this guy. I can't imagine how persistant he would be if I'd actually met him for lunch.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

A Tale of Two Boys

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about chemistry and how sometimes, two very similar situations can illicit a very different reaction from the same person.

A few years ago, I met a boy at the airport on my way home from California. We sat next to each other on the plane, but we didn't really talk because I went to sleep. However, when we landed in Atlanta to catch our connection(we were late) the guy followed me through the airport trying to carry on a conversation. Our connecting flight wound up being delayed 2 and a half hours so we sat down and talked for quite a while. The next day, he looked me up at work (he remembered where I said I worked) and asked me out on a date. I was thrilled! We had quite a long relationship that resulted from that chance encounter in an airport.

Skip ahead several years to creepy bookstore guy. Similar situation in that he struck up a conversation with me in a public place (by saying I looked familiar and asking me if I worked for the agency where I am employed) and later looking me up at my job and calling to ask me out. This time I was completely creeped out by the fact that this guy had looked me up.

Which brings me to my question. What made it thrilling when one guy tracked me down and creepy when another guy basically did the same thing? What made me feel excited when one guy asked me personal questions and made my tail tingle when the other guy asked basically the same questions? The only thing I can chalk it up to is chemistry. I felt chemistry with the guy in the airport and I felt nothing for the guy at the bookstore.

But why would I feel chemistry with one and not the other? Airport guy had a relaxed confident vibe, which put me at ease, but creepy bookstore guy seemed really nervous and twitchy and I think my emotions responded in kind. I was nervous when he called me later on. It just didn't feel right. I can't put my finger on why it didn't feel right but it just didn't.

I'm a big advocate of following your spidey sense, and if someone triggers it in a bad way, you should follow it. Even if you second guess it (which I did in this case) you should follow your gut. But at least now I understand why I was second guessing it. Logically, having been in a similar situation where I didn't have the creepy feeling, I couldn't figure out why that response came up with creepy bookstore dude. The only thing I can say is that he was just weird and I FELT it. It ain't exactly logical or scientific but it's real.

By the way, creepy bookstore guy called again this week to ask me out. I'll post more on that later! Stay tuned.......

Friday, April 11, 2008

Things You Will Never Hear a Woman Say

You will never hear a woman say to a man, "Dude, nice package! Is that real?" However, for some men, it seems perfectly acceptable to say to a woman "Nice rack! Are those real?"

And he wasn't even drunk! Gahh!!!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Things a Single Girl Must Do

This is a great article about all those things a girl should do before she gets married. I have done a lot of them, but I draw the line at the fuzzy toilet seat cover. Yuk!

Are there any similar things that the boys should do before they get hitched? What do the Cyberpeeps say?

Tuesday, April 8, 2008


Last night I had the most awesome flashback to the 80's. I went to Target to pick up a couple of things and as I was walking across the parking lot I noticed a young lady coming toward me. She was obviously a teenager or young college student. She was dressed in very tight "skinny" jeans, ankle high boots, and a concert t-shirt (with her target vest over it). Her hair was jet black, layered (remember the straight razor cuts of the 80's) and very very big. Think Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue circa 1988.

I had to stop myself and make sure I hadn't walked through a time warp. This chick was straight outta the halls of my high school twenty years ago. I kept thinking that it had to be some 80's dress up day for target employees, but no one else was wearing anything resembling what this girl had on. I was very tempted to walk up to her, take her by the hand and tell her that in 20 years she might regret the sex and the drugs. She surely would not regret the rock and roll. But, oh my god, you will regret the hair. Believe me.

I guess everything really does come back around. Even hideous hair.

(This post is brought to you courtesy of AquaNet.)

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Sexy is.......

1. Quiet unassuming confidence
2. The perfect amount of cologne
3. When a man knows how to escort a woman by gently placing his hand on the small of her back
4. Chivalry
5. Ambition and passion
6. Men who don't fight losing their hair, but shave their head instead
7. Good kissers
8. A man that is handy and can fix things (even though it would just as easy to pay someone else to do it)
9. Intelligence
10. A man in the kitchen
11. A man holding a baby or playing with kids

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Sexual Compatibility

Can sexual compatibility be developed over time or do you think you either have it or you don't?
What do the cyberpeeps think?