Just because I don't ask you to pay my credit card bill, mortgage or car payment, it does not mean that I don't need you. It means I know how to manage money.
If I don't call you or text you 20 times a day, it does not mean I don't want to talk to you. It means I don't have to be in contact with you constantly to be reassured you care for me.
If I don't show up unannounced at your house five nights a week, it does not mean I don't want to spend time with you. It means I respect that you may have a life outside of me.
If I don't start moving my things into your home and space, it doesn't mean I don't want to be there. It means I respect your space and I'd rather be invited in rather than manipulate my way in.
If I handle my own affairs and business decisions, it doesn't mean I don't value your opinion about them. It means I can make decisions and manage my life.
When I go to the movies or happy hour with my friends, it doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with you. It means I have a life outside of you with friends and family I need to attend to from time to time.
When I'm quiet, it doesn't mean I'm mad at you, I may just be in a quiet mood.
Just because I am independent does not mean I'm a man hater or that I don't want a husband or boyfriend. It means I've learned to stand on my own two feet so I can meet you half way as an equal and a partner.
Just because I want to get married and have a family does not mean I want to trap you, cut off your balls and keep them in my purse (or wear them as a beautiful necklace). Nor will I steal your house, car or most prized possessions. It simply means I would like to spend my life with someone and have a family.
All of these things mean that I have a full abundant life. And having my own life doesn't mean you can't fit into it, in fact, I'd probably like to share it with you.
Monday, June 9, 2008
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12 comments:
well said!
Thanks Edger and welcome!
Very valid points, great article.
Well informed Diva!
Women unfairly get the bad wrap sometimes that they are clingy, etc. but a guy that is expecting those co-dependent behaviors is often co-dependent himself. Duh.
Successful relationships start with 2 people giving 100% a piece, not 50-50 in order to make only 100.
Good article.
Well said from a strong independent woman!!!!
Oh how close to home this hits. It's oh so true. And the sad thing is, if you exhibit the opposite behavior? Expecting them to pay your bills and talk to you all day. And so on? Well, damned if you do, damned if you don't. At some point, people just have to have trust and faith in one another.
I have to admit I wrote this out of the frustration of feeling as though I am paying for the sins of my sisters (so to speak) with just about every guy I date. It's like Nilsa commented, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Yeah Diva, I've been told I'm not clingy enough and yet men don't want clingy women, that I'm too independent, although they always say they want independent women.
What gives?
Good points! Especially about the whole not keeping the guy's balls in the purse...who has room???
:)
Honey I wish you were not soo frustrated. The last couple of posts have been venting and you need to, I understand...I just wish you could find some peace. :(
It has to be difficult to be single.
I can be bitchy Breanna's friend too :)
AGAW- my frustration comes out of the fact that I am actually dating more lately and it just seems like same the shit different day. I remember why I took a bit of a dating hiatus. ;)
I think I may have said this before, but what about dating "your not ideal man"? Someone you would normally not even look twice at? Maybe?
Remember what I said about my hubby? He pictured a calm, 6 foot brunette, blue eyes but got a 5'5 blonde, grren eyes with a HUGE attitude.
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