The Adventure of the Cable Guy Who Screamed Like a Girl

When I heard the cable guy screaming, I was standing in my kitchen. I couldn't see out of the back door to see what was going on , but it didn't sound good. All I could hear was his wailing. I ran to the back door to find him running in circles in my back yard waving his arms and well....screaming like a little girl.

At first, I thought he might have seen a snake or something, but I figured if he'd spied a reptile, he would have run away. He wouldn't be dancing in circles. Then it dawned on me...he'd run into a spider web. A.Big.One.

Down here in Paradise, we have these really big ass arachnids called banana spiders. They build huge webs, sometimes as wide as five or six feet across (I've had them span my entire driveway). The spiders themselves can grow to about three inches in length. These things are freakin huge. And scary looking. Just ask the cable guy.

The poor guy had run into one of the webs and he was frantically dancing around trying to get the spider off of him. I ran outside to help. It truly must have been a comical site for any of my neighbors who were at home. The cable guy was screaming and running in circles and I was chasing him trying to get him to stop so I could get the spider off of him. I was also trying not to laugh or pee my pants. (Not as easy as it sounds!)

"It's on your hat!" I yelled at him to get him to stop running. He stopped abruptly (as I ran smack into him) and threw his hat out into the woods. I tried to help him get the rest of the web off of his clothing, but he was shaking so badly, I couldn't really help. He couldn't stand still. Poor guy. He refused to go get the hat. He said the spider could have it.

Well, at least he cured my blog block for the day! Check out the pic of the banana spider above. Would you want that thing on you?