Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Perspective....It's a Beautiful Thing!

I will never complain again about the types of men I attract! After reading messages boards and dealing with friends I know who have attracted a few losers, I've come to realize I'm not in bad shape at all.

I've never attracted any real weirdos to speak of. I've mostly gone out a few guys who weren't sure what they wanted or who weren't all that into to me or visa versa. I've never gone out with any serial killers, abusers, drug addicts, pedophiles, or all around psychos. I've actually dated pretty normal guys, with the occasional strange personality thrown in for kicks. (I'll have to blog about the The Sniffer one day.)

Listening to the trials and tribulations of a few people I know, has only increased my awareness that we really do wind up attracting other people into our lives based on what "vibes" we are putting out. For example, a person very close to me recently went through the ending of a long term relationship, to which she responded by jumping into a long distance relationship with someone new a month later. She recently moved in with this person (that she's known for less than six months)and has now gone through two MAJOR betrayals of trust. And still she wants to be with him. I'm pretty sure her vibe of desperation and just wanting to be with someone (anyone) attracted this unworthy character to her. This is the reason your friends/therapists/sisters tell you to deal with your grief and other issues before jumping into a new relationship!

In any event, I feel as if I am at least on the right path, minus a Sniffer or two, I haven't made any really bad choices so far. I just gotta deal with my own vibes. Possibly the one dealing with my own freedom issues?!?!?!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Question of the Day

Exactly when do you tell a guy about your little blogging habit? I'm having a difficult time with this one. There *may* be a cute boy that I have been spending time with whom I'm beginning to feel the need to divulge my writings to. However, I'm not sure when this is appropriate or how to even bring up the subject. I don't want to spook the boy.

I know some of you bloggers out there have written about who you've allowed to read your blog, and some of you have decided not to tell family or significant others about your writings. So, who do you guys tell and when do you tell them? Especially when you are dating and your blog is about dating!!!!

It's not like I'm chronicling my sexual history or bad mouthing people I've gone out with. Mostly I pose crazy questions and write about my personal observations on trying to date in your 30's. I have no guilt about my blog, in fact, I've corresponded with some pretty cool people because of it. (Not to mention you guys give better advice than some therapists.) I'm just not sure I'm ready to put it out there and be judged for it.

Anyone else have a similar dilemma? Advice (and smartass comments) welcome.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Damn This Town Is Getting Too Small....

I was on a Sunday afternoon date at a small sandwich shop around the corner from my house and guess who I run into? I saw a guy that ghosted on me last month (actually last month was the second time he ghosted on me), on a date with another girl! It was rather awkward, to say the least.

For the love of Pete, date on your own side of town, Casper!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Relationship Expert Maria Grazia Swan's Blind Date

Maria Grazia Swan
Check out Boomer Babes

I like tall men. I don’t mean Shaq tall, I mean about 5’10 to 6’. I think it has to do with the fact that I’m short. I’m about 5’1, and that’s only if I fluff my hair, otherwise my height drops below 5’.

This obsession with men’s height goes back to my teen years. It has to do with crowds. You see, if I walk in a crowd alone or with a short man, I feel like I’m suffocating, smothered, and above all, unnoticed. But walk through that crowd with a tall guy and voila, it’s like the parting of the Red Sea. I like that feeling a lot so before going on a blind date I always inquire about height.

This blind date happened in a very unexpected way. I was shopping with my best friend Jen and as usual, she checks the racks of clothes with one hand while the other hand is busy texting. I hate that habit of hers. I had no idea who she was ‘conversing with’ but she had a big grin on her face so I figured it had to be a man. When she turned around and winked at me, I knew she was up to no good. Now I’m paying attention, I’m actually elbowing her and mouthing, “Who are you talking to?”

She is totally ignoring me while her fingers ate tapping so fast I expect
smoke to rise from that phone any minute now. Jen waits until we get to the car before telling me the news, we have a date for that evening; “Smile girl,” she says, “we are going to double date.”

Now, like I said, Jen is my best friend but that doesn’t mean we share the same taste when it comes to men. I remind her of that, but she isn’t letting go, she is on a mission. “You owe me one,” she says,” remember that time I told your mom you were spending the night at my house?” I remember and I want to forget so I agree, but I want to know how tall my date is. I’m keeping my eyes on the road and my hands on the steering wheel and I hear Jen sighing, then her fingers are tapping away on that phone again. “5’11,” she says, I sense a hint of arrogant satisfaction in her voice.

That evening I’m wearing my brand new platform shoes and my gauzy dress, and I sit and wait for Jen to pick me up with our dates. Time goes by, no Jen. My cell buzz and I know is Jen. “ It’s me, look I’m sorry, I need to stay home and watch my kid sister, my mother had to go back to work. I’m sending Skip to pick you up and we can hang around here until my mom gets back then we’ll catch a movie or something, okay?”
It’s not okay, but she already disconnected and I know she won’t answer if I call back. I’m fuming! Who the hell is Skip? Now there is a text message on my phone, “Skip is your date, take your time, my sister is in bed, and I’m headed that way with Charles.”

Shit, that’s Jen for you. I hear an engine by the drive way and I peek from the mini blinds. A red Audi is parked by the house, I don’t see anyone in the car, then a car door slams, I wait, nothing. OMEGOD! A child like person walks around the car, coming toward my front door. He takes little steps, what else can he do with such short legs. Then it hits me, damn you Jen. That’s why she isn’t here; she knows I’ll kill her. I’m still standing by the window, frozen, what now? The doorbell chimes. I’m not moving, I’m holding my breath, afraid he’ll hear me breathing. This is a scene worth of a funny commercial, I’m surprise the little man can reach the door bell, maybe he carries a folding stool. He rings the doorbell again. I’m feeling like a miserable coward. I quietly remove my platform shoes, tiptoe to my bedroom and close the door. I don’t know when he finally gave up and left but I turned off my cell phone and didn’t speak to Jen for a whole week.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I Knew It Wasn't All My Fault!

I knew there had to be another reason why I pick all the wrong men. ;) Well, I'm not really sure I buy the sniff test theory, but this article was interesting anyway. What do you all think?

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

It's Nice to Know You Have Someone Looking Out For You

.....even if he is only five years old. My neighbor has the cutest little boy ever. (We'll call him Tommy to protect the cute and the innocent.) He's always coming over to my house and wanting to hang out, have a snack and watch TV. Tommy has a huge crush on me and has to hug me every time he sees me. I swear he can sense when I'm leaving the house because he always comes running from out of no where to get a hug.

This weekend, I had a dinner date with a cute boy I've gone out with a couple of times. As we were getting into my date's car, Tommy comes running out of his house calling my name and asking for a hug. He ran over, hugged me and proceeded to look my date up and down.

"Are you guys going out to dinner?" Tommy asked with his innocent little face staring up at my date.

"Yep, we sure are." I replied.

"Well," he said, placing his hands on his hips, scrunching up his nose and looking my date square in the eye, "you'd better be nice to her!"

Nice to know that at least someone has my back.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Nothing Like a Piano On Your Head to Make a Point

It's a Sunday afternoon and I find myself running around getting ready for a date with a boy we'll call Prospect A. He called (last minute) and wanted to meet up for a beer and a bite to eat. Just seeing his name on my cell phone made my heart flutter. I really dig Prospect A. The only problem is that I don't think Prospect A digs me quite as much as I dig him. He never plans in advance, his calls are always last minute. He never really seems to have time to do things when I want to. Everything is on his schedule.

Fast forward a couple of days and I get a call from a boy we'll refer to as Prospect B. He calls on Wednesday to ask if I have plans for dinner on Friday night. I give him a definite maybe because I'm really hoping that Prospect A calls and wants to meet up. Prospect B is really into me. I can tell because he always calls when he says he will, he makes plans in advance, and he always makes time for me. His intentions are crystal clear. He actually wants to date me. The problem here is that I don't dig Prospect B as much as he does me. This is the story of my freakin' love life and personally, I'm sick of it!

I recently read an article on (go here to read the article) about a writer with a similar problem. It really hit home. I always seem to be into the guy that's not all that into me. Dating both of these guys at the same time has hammered that fact home to me kinda like getting hit on the head. Really. Hard. By a big 'ol piano.

Not only does it not make sense in the real world that I should be more into Prospect B, but it makes more sense on paper as well. Prospect B is closer to my age, wants most of the same things in life that I do, is actually cuter than Prospect B and he is into me.

So what the heck is my problem?