Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Party Like It's 1989!!!

This weekend Colorado Beth and I will be attending a 36th birthday party for a friend we grew up with. Our friend's husband decided to make it an 80's extravaganza. CB and I are stoked. Any excuse to get all dressed up like we did in high school is a good one.

However, there is just a couple of problems. First, neither of us can figure out how in the hell we got our hair so BIG! I've been looking at old photos and for the life of me I can't remember the entire routine of how to tease my hair to the point that it stood a foot off of my head. (Which was good for me since I was/am pretty darn short.)

I've also been looking at photos and wondering-- what in the hell were we thinking?!?!? Blue eyeliner, pink stretch pants, and ballet flats??? (I know some of you remember those Sam & Libby shoes!) One trend I'm glad to see that has made a come back is skinny jeans (I recently bought a couple of pairs), freaking awesome is all I have to say. Wait. Rephrase that. Totally awesome dude!

Speaking of coming back, I also found out recently that Hot Topic is selling everything 80's these days. Colorado Beth stopped in and picked up a few items for her party outfit (she's channeling Cyndi Lauper) and she mentioned they had a ton of stuff straight out of our misspent youth. Well, it has almost been twenty years. I guess if you wait long enough, everything really does come back in fashion. Hollister has been selling ripped jeans for several years now. Those were a staple in the 80's. We all wanted to look like Joe Elliot.

As my contribution to the party, I was tapped to come up with a few drinks to be served during the evening. Here is what I came up with. Send me any suggestions you might have, we'd love to use them!

The “Talk Dirty To Me” (aka Dirty Martini)
You’ll be glad you picked this twist on the classic dirty martini as your POISON. They say EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN, but we can find anything wrong with this drink. Just don’t imbibe too much or you’ll end up looking like WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN.

The “Bon Jovi” (aka Kamikaze)
This SHOT TO THE HEART does not GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME, in fact it’s so good that if you drink too many, you might think you’re LIVING ON A PRAYER in the morning.

The “Girl’s Just Want To Have Fun” (aka Cosmo)
This pink concoction lives up to its name and might even snag you a guy to have a little fun with. However, if you don’t find a partner in TIME AFTER TIME, you can SHE BOP your way on home and enjoy the pleasure of your own company.

The “Born In The USA” (aka Scotch and water)
This patriotic drink will have you DANCING IN THE DARK and reliving the GLORY DAYS of Guess Jeans and Reaganomics. So, belly up and drink one for the BOSS.

The “Leppard” (aka Lemon Drop Martini)
Hearken back to the days of the British Invasion of the eighties. LOVE BITES, but this drink is smooth and satisfying. WOMEN will beg you to POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME as you dazzle them in your ripped jeans and super hot mullet a la Joe Elliot and the boys.

The “Wang Chung”
This drink is whatever you want it to be because we never did figure out what the hell a WANG CHUNG was anyway.

Monday, December 1, 2008

The "No Fly Zone"


Recently a close friend of mine has been going through a pretty rough break up. In midst of the tears and late night chats, we decided to formulate a plan of no contact with her now ex boyfriend. (Which is much easier said than done since they work in the same office, but that's a post for a different time.)

In the spirit of trying to make things as uncomplicated as possible, she and I sat down and mapped out what I like to call the "no fly zones." These are those places the two of you used to frequent together, but might be too painful for a newly broken hearted person to traverse in his/her recently acquired single state. These are also places that you are quite likely to run into the ex with his/her new love interest. These areas make no contact with your former beloved quite difficult and should be avoided at all costs.

Establishing the no fly zone(s) can be as intricate as any military strategy thought up by brilliant generals in battle. Because if you think about it, a nasty break up can be very much like a battle. A battle for your very sanity and soul. You may have to change your driving route into work so you don't drive by his house or you might have to frequent a new coffee shop so you don't see him at the one the two of you used to patronize every morning.

But why should I have to give up the coffee shop? One might protest. Shouldn't he have to find a new place to get his java fix? I would agree that it is best when both parties can agree to the no fly zones and split them up accordingly, but when break ups are hasty and nasty, this doesn't always happen. Besides, as I asked my friend, do you really have to get your non fat, no foam, half caff, vanilla latte from that particular coffee shop? Can't you, for sanity's sake, go to a different place?


Inevidably, when establishing your no fly zones, the question of time limits always comes up. How long should one refrain from their favorite hangouts just to avaid the ex? I usually refrain from old haunts for at least six months. Truth be told, I still have one no fly zone that I avoid, even after being apart from my ex (Frat Boy) for over four years.

Frat Boy and I live in different subdivisions about two miles apart. In between our respective residences, are several new restaurants, a couple of nice coffee shops, and one large grocery store, where I used to shop before we broke up. I gave up the entire area, when we ended things. I knew if I continued to shop and dine there, I would eventually run into him with his new wife. I didn't exactly need that, so I stayed away. I still drive about a mile further in the opposite direction to a different grocery store and I don't patronize any of the restaurants etc. in that area, even though it is within walking distance of my house. Call me crazy, but it's made my life a lot easier. Especially since my ex has/had a terrible habit of getting hammered and showing up on my doorstep at three in the morning. I didn't want to be running into him trying to be friendly (but distant) so he wouldn't get the idea that it was okay to show up at my house unannounced because we were "friends." Since I still have no interest in inviting him back into my life, I continue to stay away so that I'm not running into him everytime I need toilet paper.

Some of my friends think it's a bit odd that I still don't go into that area to shop or hang out, but I consider it a small price to pay for my peace of mind. It's not like I'm missing out on a whole lot by not shopping at one grocery store. So, my question for you all is, what are your no fly zones? Do you have any? Do you still observe them long after a break up?